Bullshit of the week: Denon AK-DL1 Ethernet cable

And there we go!!! after few days, we’ve got new bullshit of the week. This time affordable ethernet cable for real audiophools for $500 only. In this case apple the rule: don’t think about it, get it before is too late! I just can’t understand how quite prestigious company as Denon can keep selling voodoo bullshit like this. And I have to say: If you wanna have a good laugh, then please read 😀

Official bullshit product page:

http://usa.denon.com/us/Product/Pages/Product-Detail.aspx?Catid=5840d55c-4077-4d9e-9421-36f204fb4587&SubId=85958de8-a123-4213-8ae1-bb6afaee9a97&ProductId=f7d26b3a-05a6-4724-a5c1-2a63642a6206#

And manual, so you know what to don with this bullshit cable:

http://usa.denon.com/DocumentMaster/US/AK-DL1-OM_002.pdf

Bullshit product sheet or: how to sell normal ethernet cable for premium price:

http://usa.denon.com/DocumentMaster/US/AK-DL1Lit.pdf

I think this cable is a classic with respect to audiophools. I bet the two-headed arrow dramatically improves the transfer rate.

Denon’s 1.5 meter (59 in.) proprietary ultra premium Denon Link cable was designed for the audio enthusiast. Made from high purity copper wire and high performance connection parts, the AK-DL1 will bring out all the nuances in digital audio reproduction from any of our Denon DVD players with the Denon Link feature connected to a Denon Link enabled Denon A/V receiver. The AK-DL1 employs high level tin-bearing alloy shielding not typically available in commercial cabling, to eliminate data loss caused by noise. Additionally, signal directional markings are provided for optimum signal transfer. Attention to detail when building this cable was used by employing high quality insulation and woven jacketing to reduce vibration and to add durability. Rounded plug levers help prevent breakage.

I knew my day was going to improve when the truck pulled up at my home with this cable deep within. No ordinary truck, this one was Holy White, and the gold Delivery logo sparkled like a thousand suns reflected through shards of the purest ice formed with unadulterated water collected at the beginning of the universe. The driver, clad in a robe colored the softest of white, floated towards me on the cool fog of a hundred fire extinguishers. He smiled benevolently, like a father looking down upon his only child, and handed me a package wrapped in gold beaten thin to the point where you could see through it. I didn’t have to sign, because the driver could see within my heart, and knew that I was pure. Upon opening the package, an angelic choir started to sing, and reached a crescendo as I laid this cable on my stereo system. Instantly, my antiquated equipment transformed into components made from the clearest diamond-semiconductor. The cable knew where to go, and hooked itself into the correct ports without help from me – all the while, the choir sang praises to the almighty digital god. With trepidation, I pushed “play,” and was instantly enveloped in a sound that echoed the creation of all matter, a sound that vibrated every cell in my body to perfection. I was instantly taken to the next plane, where I saw the all-father. I knew with my entire soul, that all was good in the world.

But then I realized the cable was blue, so I only gave it one star. I hate blue.

And experience with one UNhappy customer:

Transmission of music data at rates faster than the speed of light seemed convenient, until I realized I was hearing the music before I actually wanted to play it. Apparently Denon forgot how accustomed most of us are to unidirectional time and the general laws of physics. I tried to get used to this effect but hearing songs play before I even realized I was in the mood for them just really screwed up my preconceptions of choice and free will. I’m still having a major existential hangover.

Would not purchase again.

Question in the end: Do you really still believe in bullshit magic?